I Am Uniquely Qualified

I remember the moment I fell in love with my ex-boyfriend (funny I have to put the ‘ex’ in there). I was at his house, we were shooting pool and laughing hysterically all night. I remember sitting on his lap and out of nowhere it just hit me like a ton of bricks- Jacinda fell in love at that very moment. That day plays over and over in my mind so much that I can almost feel the rush of emotions right now. Do you remember the moment you fell in love? Is it possible to remember the single moment you fell in love? So this takes me to my next question, can there be this same type of so-called, ‘defining moment’ for if you fall out of love? I ask because this same man I’m referencing I spoke with over the weekend, and after years and years of proving my loyalty to him he still finds it within himself to question my actions and motives concerning other men. Well guess what? To his shock and amazement that phone call did something to me. By the time I hung up I felt complete and utter...

This is how I feel at this very moment. I am my own enemy. There’s no one to blame, no one to hate just an overwhelming sensation of anger and sadness towards myself. How can I know the right and wrong things I am doing and consistently allow myself to do the wrong? This sickens me at the thought and I’m starting to really go crazy about it. I have received a sign from God saying, "Jacinda I have some amazingly powerful things in store for you which will allow your passion and talents to soar, but if you do not cut out all the junk in your life you will only make it harder on yourself and ultimately fail at what I have planned for you." You would think it’s so easy to just say, "Okay Lord, I’m going to stop everything right now because what I want out of life is way more profound then the negatives which shoot me down." Yet, as hard as I try, I continue to do what’s wrong day in and day out. I watch myself doing it as if I’m on the outside looking i