Judgement Free Zone



 Oh the beautiful hurdles of life.  I'm learning to love them even if I don't agree with them.

I remember growing up it was hard for me to be friends with a girlfriend if she kept going back out with the same loser boyfriend.  She would come to me crying and seeking advice.  I would give her all the advice and support she needed. Then she would get back with him.  I felt slighted as a friend like she chose him over me, but that was not the case, she just couldn't help how she felt for him.

Today, I am completely over those childlike feelings.  My girlfriend and I have a saying we use often, "If you like it, I love it."  I absolutely love having a friend who's ultimate goal is to see me happy.  Don't get it twisted, we need to be frank sometimes, but we understand there is a time and a place for deliverance of the undesirable truth.  There are times when I specifically ask for the truth.  There were other times when she simply says, I just need your support right now.  I have grown to truly respect this friendship.  I know she does not judge me and I do not judge her.  

I always thought how great it was that I mastered the art of being a good friend until I recently realized this same type of understanding needs to be filed into your family relationships as well.

As I get older I tend to keep my family out of less personal information.  I have learned in my premarital class just how important it is to keep certain things private because it can ruin the family dynamic of the new family you are building and the family that's always been there.  Not to mention sometimes we always think we have the green light to give opinions on close relatives simply because they're family but this is not true.  

I am learning that we are suppose to "Just Love".  We are not suppose to give opinions and advice unless it's asked.  This is very hard for me as I am still learning it myself.  We cannot condemn someone for doing something their way, especially when they become adults.  Everyone's life is different some people take the long way to get places while others prefer shorter routes.  

-- JG

Comments

  1. Nice read J! I can truly say that I feel safe sharing my stories with you, because it is truly a judge free zone. As women, it takes us a while to realize that our opinion isn't always warranted. Sometimes, we just need to listen.

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  2. I feel its human nature to want to assist people, whether they inquire for that help or not. I think that people often vent and don’t want an opinion of any kind. I guess we all just need to learn to give advice when the person requests for it.

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