I Am Allowing MYSELF to Stand in the Way of Greatness
This is how I feel at this very moment. I am my own enemy. There’s no one to blame, no one to hate just an overwhelming sensation of anger and sadness towards myself. How can I know the right and wrong things I am doing and consistently allow myself to do the wrong? This sickens me at the thought and I’m starting to really go crazy about it. I have received a sign from God saying,
"Jacinda I have some amazingly powerful things in store for you which will allow your passion and talents to soar, but if you do not cut out all the junk in your life you will only make it harder on yourself and ultimately fail at what I have planned for you."You would think it’s so easy to just say,
"Okay Lord, I’m going to stop everything right now because what I want out of life is way more profound then the negatives which shoot me down."Yet, as hard as I try, I continue to do what’s wrong day in and day out. I watch myself doing it as if I’m on the outside looking in. My mind doesn’t want to do these things, my heart definitely doesn’t want to do these things. I truly want to be pure and genuine, but there is something in me which continuously pulls me under. I am standing in the way of greatness and I feel it in my bones. How can I be a blessing when I have demons of my own? I look at it as if I have two options. Either I will continue to lie and cheat myself into believing everything is okay and years down the line I will have to understand my dreams, aspirations and God’s mission didn’t happen because of my own vices or I will take the stand TODAY to completely walk in faith and give up my past.
“Lord, I pray for the guidance and strength to willfully walk away from the strings which have tied me down since I was a little girl. Lord, I want to walk with you and be Christ-like like you. I thank you for being a forgiving God. At this time please help me in a way you never have before. God I want to make you happy!”
yeah...same here J :)
ReplyDeleteOne of the most beautiful things as well as hard is pouring out in this blog as you did. Sometimes just doing so brings a level of freedom from the chains of bondage that hold us from doing what destiny calls us to do. (Titus)
ReplyDeleteJacinda,
ReplyDeleteYou are blessed and highly favored! You are the head and not the tail. God says, "For I know the plans I have for you... They are for good!! Jeremiah 29:11. You are a beautiful, strong, anointed woman of God. Your testimony is your ministry. Continue to keep your eyes on Him. GREAT Things are coming your way! FAVOR FAVOR FAVOR it's all over you! May God continue to speak to you, may He continue to guide you, and may you continue to see His works in your life. I love you, I'm so proud of you, and I can't wait to see what God has planned for your next adventure. You are so so so so blessed girl! Keep doing your thing ... keeping letting God use you. Love, Sarah Lee
You are doing gods will!! I know you want everything to be perfect, but i would hate to loose you to death...life would be over if everything was perfect RIGHT NOW...The work you do, the people you help, your loyalty, friendship, honesty, forgiveness, funloving spirit is felt.
ReplyDeleteIf nobody else say's it you inspire me:) I love you and is so grateful God place us on the same path...con't to pour out your heart, Of course change is evident, we all got to do that, but I believe your evolving at the pace God wants you to change, going through every perfect trial he's place on your path for his glory, to bring you to moments like this to inspire not only your self and your spirit, but those who read this and those fortunate to be your friend like me:) love you K.I.M (Keep It Moving)!!!!
what you are doing is not wrong it how you are looking at it that is i believe every ones life is like a book in order two understand it you have to read the whole book not just that page that you don't understand even if it feels wrong you will under stand why its wrong so you can lean from it Don't give up take a few mintues... believeing God has a plan for you is right. sometimes it feels like everything we do is wrong it not it just teaching us so that one day down the road when you become the person God wants you to be and someone asks you why every thing always goes wrong you can tell that person or group its not its how we learn..
ReplyDeleteMany of life's failures are men(woman) who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up....
ReplyDeletejacinda, i truly think every single person has this happen to them. some people's problems are more serious than others. some people have drug addictions and even though they hate been addicted and the drug itself, they keep doing it. i, personally, experience this with eating healthy. i know i should not eat something but its like i can't control myself and end up eating it and then resenting myself later. dont feel alone jacinda, every one experiences this sooner or later. and hopefully we can overcome it.
ReplyDeleteHey Jacinda, I've been following you for a while since I moved to the Charlotte area. Well I can totally relate to what you're feeling. My words of encouragement for you are to get in the Word like never before. I know that things and people will try to pull you to do other things that you know in your heart isn't right but change doesn't happen overnight. You've gotta pray for strength to resist those temptations. You've taken a big step towards being free from those thing just by acknowledging that they are stumbling blocks. If you fall don't beat yourself up because that's what the devil wants. He wants to steal your confidence and make it seem like there is no coming back to God. The awesome thing about God is that he never leaves or forsakes us. Once we repent he puts those sins in the sea of forgetfulness never to bring them up again. He wants you to walk in your purpose and be confident that he will be right by your side along the way. Sorry for the rambling, but God doesn't use perfect people look at David, look at Gideon, and look at Moses. They were far from perfect people but God still used them to do mighty things. Be encouraged and remember that the joy of the Lord is your strength. See you in church. :)
ReplyDeletej. just see your self&free form conflicts of duality.you are the live beuty exploring in this live eternal now.o!my god!
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