I Need Good Lovin

Picture Provided By Level21 Magazine. 

Everyone needs love.  However, I constantly meet new, amazing people who are all in need of love & expecting to find it in a lover! Please don't hate me for what I'm about to say, but my heart is screaming--  You must love yourself first, no one can do it for you.

Oh my goodness, it kills me to see a young, vibrant woman jump out of a relationship immediately run straight into another one.  It saddens me to hear someone cry about wanting & needing love but not willing to do the work themselves.  The best and most concrete form of love is to first love yourself.  There is no man or women in the world that can love you better.  We need to stop hoping & praying that this new person who is going to love the socks off of your feet will be able to give the kind of love you need for all time.  This is one main reason relationships do not last. We are putting too much weight on our lovers to make us happy.  You must have your own peace and walk in your own joy. Your lover simply adds to your contentment.

First piece of understanding: You are with yourself always so guess what?  Your love can never leave.  It will never walk out on you.  You are already carrying a love that will last till the end of time.  Let's learn to nurture this love and end the cycle of brokenness & empty relationships. 

Here are some things I did personally to fall in love with myself:

  • Loved yourself.  I stopped living for others.  I defined success for myself.  Ask yourself these question, what is success to you?  Who are you? What do you love to do?  Figure out the things you love and stick to them.  Say no if you don't want to go somewhere.  Listen to the music you love.  Dress how you want to dress.  Learn to be completely comfortable with yourself, making no excuses for who you are.  This will welcome other people into your world that truly love and value you too.  Why waste time doing & saying what you think others want you to say?  
  • Date yourself.  Have you ever went on a date with yourself?  Oh my goodness, some of the best memories I ever had were from a tremendous evening- party of one.  I dressed in the best fashions I could find in my closet.  I RSVP'ed to every event I wanted to go to & boom, I let the night carry me away.  
  • Say I Love You!  You must speak to yourself.  Tell yourself, "I love you, you are beautiful, you are amazing, you are successful, you are unique."  We waste precious time waiting for others to tell us these things. Tell yourself!  This step is actually the hardest for most people because we don't believe it.  Force yourself to say one of these statements daily.  Trust me, over time you will learn to believe it.  
  • Nurture yourself. This requires you to know your peace and spend time there.  Spend time getting to know this aspect of you- What brings me peace? Maybe you like baths, candles and reading a book.  Or better yet, maybe you love live music, ripped jeans & mission trips.  Whatever it is that brings you peace, make sure you spend time there.  This life is crazy so you owe it to yourself to retreat in a way that make sense to you.

When you love yourself there's a unspoken aura that follows you everywhere you go.  Your smile is genuine, your conversation is of substance and your ability to not deal with anything less than the best makes for anyone in your space to value your time.  The answer to true love is not wrapped up in him or her, it's in you. Please learn to love you first.  It will save you heartbreak.  Your welcome.


For a life-changing experience, grab an autographed copy of my book Uniquely Qualified.  What are you planning? I would love to inspire & motivate- for booking HERE

PS- I believe that the best & greatest love of all is our love in our Heavenly Father.  Typically, this is my conversation, however in this post I wanted to be practical & give the steps that follow. Please note, loving yourself only comes after your love for God. 


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