Welcome to Marriage

I guess when I said, "Yes."  I could only imagine how beautiful, fun, and magical our lives would be after we walked down the aisle.  Everyday I begin to understand more and more what it means when married people say the infamous line, "It takes work."  I mean, what the heck does that really mean?  Going to work takes work.  Pushing myself to eat healthy and go to the gym takes a lot of work.  Being nice to someone when all I want to do is curse them out takes work.  How hard can it be?


I constantly find myself saying these same three little words, "It's not fair."  Maybe I wanted to go on an afternoon hike but Ty has to go pick up the kids to cut their hair.  Or maybe I planned this great weekend for all of us but unfortunately, attitudes came face-to-face with teenage hormones and boom laughter turned into silence and an unplugged family.  No literally, no technology allowed after all that.  In my short time of marriage, I learned that it's no longer solely about me and my cute little life anymore.  Other people matter more.  Other circumstances are in the picture and it doesn't matter if it's fair or not. This sucks!

In this walk you are supposed to give of yourself even when it's not deserving.  You are not allowed to sit in anger.  Did you hear that?  You are not allowed to be angry for days and days.  You need to get over yourself because someone needs you.  This sucks too!

As I vent my feelings, frustrations, confusion and worrying thoughts.  I write this blog post for anyone else who is married and counting all the bags their significant other brought into the relationship.  Well, honey you brought bags in too so stop pointing fingers.  Let's face it, "It takes work." It's hard.  It's definitely not easy.

As I tried to google information, research and surveys about this experience I realized I just needed to write down my own feelings.  So that would be my first piece of advice to you.  Write down what you feel.  The good, bad and the ugly. This will help makes sense of the load you're carrying.  Secondly, seek professional help in this walk because it does not come with a hand book.  I learned 70% of blended marriages end in divorce- what the heck!  That speaks for itself right there. My husband and I are looking for someone who can teach us how to be better parents.  Shoot, I don't know everything and gratefully I have a husband who is open to learning more.  We want to be proactive in this walk rather than wait till it all hits the ceiling.  Lastly, from my short time in the walk I have learned that the key to this thing is to hold your marriage sacred and special.  Let nothing get in-between you both, not even the kids.

As I wrap this post, I make a promise to document my journey.  I'll celebrate the victories and share the tears as I KNOW I'm not the only one.

Thank you God,
For this unchartered territory.  I know it's new to me and scary for me sometimes but I know there's nothing I can't handle through you.  God give me the strength, hope and patience to endure.  Please grant me with the grace to forgive and love to share abundantly.  Teach me daily how to be a wife.  The wife you destined me to be.  Amen.




Love,
Jacinda

Comments

  1. That's good Jacinda. How long have you guys been married now? About a year and a half?

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  2. Hi Jacinda, I am married to a wonderful man of 23+ years and I have experienced the lifestyle of being a stepmom in this journey. I'd love to assist you in anyway that God will allow with encouraging words and sharing my experiences with stepchildren in their teen years and handling the other parent during some very challenging times. My stepchildren are now adults in their late twenties and with children of their own that now makes me a stepgrandmother. So I have a book that I must write soon to share my journey, because life will not ever be fair, God never promised us it will be. In fact he informs us that it will not be, to trust in Him with all our hearts and to walk by faith and not by sight. When we allow our relationship to grow closer with Him, we will find ourselves in a better place mentally and spiritually to get through all obstacles that our lives bring. Congratulations to you and your hubby and may God continue to bless, protect and grow your union!

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